Damp Squids, Pinheads & Granny Squares

🎙️ 𝗘𝗣𝗜𝗦𝗢𝗗𝗘 𝟭𝟳: 𝗗𝗔𝗠𝗣 𝗦𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗗𝗦, 𝗣𝗜𝗡𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗦 & 𝗚𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗡𝗬 𝗦𝗤𝗨𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗦

Welcome back to another gloriously unfiltered episode of 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘆 – where sensible conversation comes to die, random facts are enthusiastically discussed and words occasionally emerge that have never before existed in the English language. 😂

This time we're recovering from the absolute mayhem of Lakefest, risking our eyesight during a solar eclipse, celebrating left-handers, wondering where all our brain cells have gone, discussing suspicious cats, discovering the surprisingly complicated world of granny squares and celebrating the friendships that spring up when people get together and have a laugh.

Oh… and we meet Num𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗼𝗻.

No, we hadn't heard of him either. 🤣

🎪 𝗟𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗙𝗘𝗦𝗧: 𝗛𝗔𝗠𝗕𝗨𝗥𝗚𝗘𝗥 𝗛𝗜𝗟𝗟 & 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗭𝗘 𝗦𝗠𝗨𝗚𝗚𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗦

What. A. Week. 😳

We kick things off with our adventures volunteering at 𝗟𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘁 – five days, two gates, 21 brilliant volunteers, scorching temperatures and one enormous hill that appeared to have been designed specifically to finish us off.

Walking down it? Fine.

Walking back up it?

𝗪𝗛𝗢 𝗡𝗘𝗘𝗗𝗦 𝗟𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗦 𝗔𝗡𝗬𝗪𝗔𝗬? 🥵🤣

We discover that people who stop halfway up to admire the “lovely view” are actually saying, “I can't breathe and if I take another step I may die.”

There's dust, mini tornadoes, moisturiser-related disasters, giant ice creams, bananas, sunflowers and some very inventive attempts to smuggle booze through security. 🍺🍦🍌

One unfortunate festival-goer even gets publicly congratulated when security discovers his hidden alcohol.

𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗢 𝗦𝗘𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘, 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬𝗢𝗡𝗘. 😳😂

And after several exhausting days, things get so bad that makeup is very nearly removed with 𝗻𝗮𝗶𝗹 𝘃𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿.

Possibly taking the eyeball with it.

Next year we're taking a caravan. 😂

🌒 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗧𝗢 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗔𝗡 𝗘𝗖𝗟𝗜𝗣𝗦𝗘

Apparently there are special glasses for watching a solar eclipse.

Who knew? 👀

Instead, we investigate alternative viewing methods before somebody does the one thing you're absolutely not supposed to do…

𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗞𝗦 𝗗𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗨𝗡. ☀️😳

Cue temporary splodges, mysterious shapes appearing around the garden and a period of pretending everything is absolutely fine when you can't actually see properly.

We also hear how ancient tribes allegedly used their knowledge of eclipses to convince other people they could make the sun disappear – which, frankly, is some impressively advanced marketing.

After all the excitement, the verdict on the eclipse?

𝗔 𝗕𝗜𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗔 𝗗𝗔𝗠𝗣 𝗦𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗗. 🦑

Yes. Squid.

We're sticking with it.

✋ NU𝗠𝗣𝗢𝗟𝗘𝗢𝗡 & 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗟𝗘𝗙𝗧-𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗗 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗜𝗨𝗦𝗘𝗦

It's been 𝗟𝗲𝗳𝘁-𝗛𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗗𝗮𝘆, so we're celebrating the creative geniuses who apparently favour their left hand.

Albert Einstein. Leonardo da Vinci. Paul McCartney. Julius Caesar.

And, of course…

NUMP𝗢𝗟𝗘𝗢𝗡 𝗕𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗘. 🤣🤣🤣

Napoleon has officially been renamed.

We also discover that kangaroos tend to favour their left paws and around 90% of parrots apparently use their left foot to pick things up. 🦘🦜

Educational content?

On this podcast?

Steady on.

🧠 𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗕𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗡 𝗖𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗦 𝗚𝗢𝗡𝗘?

We return to the subject of brain cells and ask what actually makes somebody intelligent.

Is it education? Genetics? Life experience? Emotional intelligence? The ability to retain endless trivia?

Or is the brain basically an overloaded computer that occasionally needs to 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲? 💻🧠

Our theory is that as you get older, you haven't necessarily forgotten everything – you've just got a much bigger library to search through.

Unfortunately, sometimes the librarian appears to have gone for lunch.

The conversation then takes the entirely natural scientific leap from intelligence to…

𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗 𝗦𝗜𝗭𝗘. 😂

Festival bucket hats reveal that there may be several members of the 𝗣𝗶𝗻𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯 among us.

And there's even a perfectly reasonable explanation for headaches:

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗼𝘂𝘁. 🤯

🐈 𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗦: 𝗝𝗨𝗗𝗚𝗘𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗟, 𝗩𝗜𝗢𝗟𝗘𝗡𝗧 & 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗬 𝗧𝗪𝗢-𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨

Are you a cat person or a dog person?

We're firmly leaning towards dogs.

Dogs look at you and you know roughly what's going on.

Cats look at you as though they're reviewing your performance and will be submitting their findings to management. 😾

One minute they're being affectionate.

The next?

𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗖𝗞. 🐾

We discuss the mysterious cat spotted attending Lakefest in a pram, cats supposedly absorbing negative energy and the story of 𝗗𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗿𝗶, the resident cat from The Falcon Hotel in Bromyard, who disappeared before eventually being found eight miles away.

Then there's Bear – a cat who appears to have discovered the ultimate cost-of-living hack by simply living with several different families and eating dinner at all of them. 😂

Forget nine lives.

This one had multiple mortgages.

🧶 𝗚𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗡𝗬 𝗦𝗤𝗨𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗦: 𝗡𝗢 𝗛𝗢𝗟𝗘𝗦 𝗣𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘

It's 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗦𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗗𝗮𝘆!

Which sounds considerably more exciting once you discover the names of the crochet patterns.

There's the 𝗖𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗰 𝗦𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗱 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆.

The 𝗦𝘂𝗻𝗯𝘂𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆.

And, our particular favourite…

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗗 𝗡𝗢-𝗛𝗢𝗟𝗘𝗦 𝗚𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗡𝗬. 🧶🤣

Apparently there are beginner, intermediate and advanced levels to granny squares – something we were blissfully unaware of until now.

We also ponder the ultimate fate of the lovingly crocheted blanket that somebody has spent months making for you.

You admire it.

You thank them.

You treasure it.

Then eventually…

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗗𝗢𝗚 𝗚𝗘𝗧𝗦 𝗜𝗧. 🐕😂

Granny Square Day has officially entered our brains…

…and immediately cleared the cache.

💬 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧𝗦𝗔𝗣𝗣 𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦 & 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗡𝗔𝗚𝗚 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗜𝗢𝗥𝗦

Among all the silliness, there's something rather lovely about this episode too. ❤️

Our Lakefest WhatsApp group brought together people who didn't necessarily know one another beforehand, and over five days of working, laughing, sharing photos and surviving Hamburger Hill together, genuine new friendships were formed.

And that leads us nicely to one of our fantastic listeners, 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗸, and his carp-fishing gang, the 𝗦𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗴 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿𝘀. 🎣

Started in 2019, the group has brought together men and women with a shared passion for carp fishing – but it's about far more than catching fish.

They're a community, they organise trips together, share tactics, help one another out and even have their own merchandise.

𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗬'𝗩𝗘 𝗚𝗢𝗧 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗘.

We really need to get our finger out. 🤣

Best of all, Mark listens to 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘆 while he's out fishing.

So Mark and the Snagg Warriors – this one's for you! 🎣🎧❤️

🎭 𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗗𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗥𝗘: 𝗙𝗟𝗢𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚, 𝗟𝗔𝗨𝗚𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 & 𝗖𝗟𝗨𝗖𝗞-𝗔𝗡𝗗-𝗖𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚

Finally, we're back out and about around Herefordshire. ❤️

We chat about 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗠𝗣 at The Courtyard and the big names it's bringing into Hereford – including a forthcoming encounter with Jasper Carrott.

We catch up with the wonderfully bonkers 𝗪𝘆𝗲 𝗙𝗹𝗼𝗮𝘁, where the basic principle remains beautifully simple:

Find something that floats.

Put on a ridiculous costume.

Get on it.

Try not to fall in. 😂🌊

We also give a big shout-out to our lovely listener 𝗥𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵, who's bringing her Story Time magic to Marden Parish Hall on Sunday 30th August from 11:30, with sessions for the young and the young at heart. 📚✨

And there's a new arrival at Hereford Butter Market, with 𝗛𝗶𝗴𝗵 𝗗𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗹 opening a stall where customers can order online and collect their goodies.

Or, as we now prefer to call it…

🐔 𝗖𝗟𝗨𝗖𝗞 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗖𝗧.

We're fairly sure that's going to catch on.

🎧 𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗡 𝗡𝗢𝗪!

So grab a cuppa, stick us on in the car, take us for a walk, listen while you're fishing, crocheting a solid no-holes granny square or sitting somewhere quietly wondering where your brain cells went…

…and join us for another half-hour of Herefordshire happenings, questionable facts, accidental words and conversations that rarely end up anywhere near where they started. 😂

🎙️ 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘆 – 𝗘𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲 𝟭𝟳

𝗗𝗔𝗠𝗣 𝗦𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗗𝗦, 𝗣𝗜𝗡𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗦 & 𝗚𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗡𝗬 𝗦𝗤𝗨𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗦

🎧 Listen. Laugh. Follow. Share.

And remember…

𝗡𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗦𝗧 𝗔 𝗖𝗔𝗧 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗔𝗗𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗦. 🐈🤣

👀 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗡𝗘𝗫𝗧 𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘…

🥓 International Bacon Day

🧔 Beards

🖖 Star Trek

What could possibly go wrong?

Quite a lot, probably. 😂

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